Overheard outside Cafe Intelligentsia Sunset Junction: "I don't want the artisan, organic, sustainably-grown, bells-and-whistles coffee with fucking oat milk, or the cold-ass acai bowl that's like a retraction, like saying no to life. I want a bottomless cup of Folgers, and I want comfort food with shitloads of butter and salt and ketchup and fat. And I want the big-titted waitress who flirts and acknowledges that I'm a man and she's a woman and there's this dance, or at least there used to be. I want something like my mom, but with the sexual tension turned way up, and I want to walk out of there with a full belly, and a hard-on."

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Dora Hates You