Whoever wrote this did so brilliantly. H/T

Robert F. Kennedy Jr. walked into his Senate confirmation hearing like a man stepping onto an ice rink wearing banana peels for shoes. He had one job: convince the world that he was not a bug-eyed conspiracy theorist who once hoarded a whale head and left a bear carcass in Central Park. Instead, he walked out as the leading cause of migraines among Democratic senators.

This was supposed to be his moment of redemption, his big I'm-not-actually-insane speech. Instead, it turned into a political demolition derby featuring protesters screaming that he was a liar and a killer, Bernie Sanders interrogating him about baby clothes, Elizabeth Warren asking if he planned to run HHS like a side hustle, and a surreal moment where Kennedy had to confirm that he probably said Lyme disease was a military bioweapon. By the end of the day, Capitol Police had forcibly removed more people from the chamber than a dive bar on St. Patrick's Day.

Kennedy barely got through his opening statement before a woman exploded from the gallery like a jack-in-the-box filled with rage and science degrees.

"YOU LIE!" she screamed, holding up a sign that read VACCINES SAVE LIVES before being swiftly tackled and dragged out by Capitol Police.

Kennedy blinked rapidly, which is how you know he was hearing the voice of the worm that used to live in his brain whispering, Abort mission, Bobby. Abort mission.

A brief moment of peace settled over the room, and then it happened again.

"YOU'RE KILLING PEOPLE!" another protester howled, launching into a full-body rage spiral before security carried her out, legs kicking, like a screaming suitcase with opinions.

Kennedy took a deep breath and tried to regain his footing, but Senator Ron Wyden had been waiting for this moment like a prosecutor with a personal vendetta.

"Are you lying to us, Mr. Kennedy?" Wyden snapped, staring daggers at him.

Kennedy forced a nervous smile, but it came out looking like he'd just been told he had to fight a horse for a parking spot.

"That claim has been repeatedly debunked," he said, attempting to sound reasonable despite an entire room full of people who were watching YouTube compilations of him saying the exact opposite.

Wyden wasn't buying it.

"You signed a petition to restrict access to the COVID vaccine. Did you or did you not?"

Kennedy mumbled something about the petition being "misrepresented" as the air in the room thickened with sweat, bad decisions, and organic supplements.

Wyden was gearing up for a finishing blow when another protester detonated like a landmine.

"YOU'RE A FRAUD!" she shrieked as security dragged her away in a full-body lock.

Even the cops looked exhausted now.

Then came Bernie Sanders, a man who has not been in the mood for nonsense since 1972.

"Are you supportive of these baby onesies?" he demanded.

The room froze.

Kennedy's brain crashed like a Windows 98 PC.

"Excuse me?"

Sanders lifted a printed-out photo of a baby bodysuit covered in anti-vaccine slogans.

"These are being sold by the Children's Health Defense, the organization you founded."

Kennedy looked like he had just accidentally eaten a ghost pepper and was trying to play it cool.

"I - I don't have oversight over that organization anymore," he mumbled.

Sanders cracked his knuckles like a man ready to fistfight a CEO and leaned in.

"Are you supportive of these onesies?"

Kennedy started sweating through his suit.

Laughter rippled through the room. A Republican senator actually covered his face.

Kennedy, now looking desperate for a fire alarm to pull, tried to pivot to his real passion: banning corn syrup.

Sanders wasn't having it.

Then Elizabeth Warren took the mic, radiating pure prosecutorial energy.

"Will you commit to not taking money from pharmaceutical companies while serving as Secretary of Health?" she asked, in the tone of a woman who already knew the answer but was going to enjoy watching him squirm.

Kennedy grinned like a dog that just chewed up your furniture and is hoping you'll laugh it off.

"I don't think they'd want to give me money," he chuckled.

Warren did not chuckle.

"Will you commit to not profiting from lawsuits against pharmaceutical companies while serving as HHS Secretary?"

Kennedy froze.

The color drained from his face.

"You're asking me not to sue drug companies?" he said, voice rising.

"No, I'm not going to agree to that."

Warren's eyes gleamed like a hawk spotting a wounded rabbit.

"So you'll be suing the same companies you're supposed to regulate?"

Kennedy looked like he wanted to melt into his chair.

Then came Michael Bennet, a man who had been waiting patiently to drop a grenade into Kennedy's lap.

"Did you say that Lyme disease was a militarily engineered bioweapon?" Bennet asked, deadpan.

Kennedy hesitated.

"I probably said that."

The audience gasped.

Bennet cocked an eyebrow.

"Did you say that pesticides turn children transgender?"

Kennedy turned bone white.

"I don't recall saying that."

Bennet's lip twitched.

"But you do recall saying Lyme disease was a bioweapon?"

Kennedy looked like he had been hit by a tranquilizer dart.

Even the Republican senators were staring at their desks, avoiding eye contact.

The hearing finally adjourned, but Kennedy is not in the clear yet.

His next grilling is scheduled for tomorrow, and there's no telling how much worse it can get.

His opponents smell blood. His supporters are already crafting conspiracy theories about the deep state.

And if the vote ends in a deadlock, Vice President JD Vance will cast the deciding vote.

Yes, JD Vance - the political equivalent of a wet cardboard box - will determine if a man once partially controlled by a brain parasite will run America's health system.

The nation waits in suspense. Pass the whiskey.

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You can't spell "HATRED" without

"RED HAT"

"Did you say that Lyme disease was a militarily engineered bioweapon?" Bennet asked, deadpan.

Kennedy hesitated.

"I probably said that."



Hell of an administration it's shaping up to be!

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Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

Denis Diderot

Murkowski, Collins and the other one will opt out. The question is whether the anti-abortion republicans will defy Trump on that issue. I didn't realize how this guy was able to monetize this attack against the Pharmaceuticals so well. Its odd, his stance on obesity and nutrition is good but I can't ever forget that he ate a big mac with cheese with Trump as proof of his loyalty when he was auditioning for the job.

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"One of the reasons why propaganda tries to get you to hate government is because it's the one existing institution in which people can participate to some extent and constrain tyrannical unaccountable power." Noam Chomsky.

He says the addicted should be sent to camps where they will be reprogrammed by religion. They will not be medical facilities. This is a tried and failed method.

He isn't remotely qualified to take on this position. Republicans will give him the job.



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I was right.

Former heroin addict. This guy has some very odd opinions.

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"One of the reasons why propaganda tries to get you to hate government is because it's the one existing institution in which people can participate to some extent and constrain tyrannical unaccountable power." Noam Chomsky.

Maybe if he brought some dead dog Korean tacos, or dragged in a stinky whale carcass, things might have gone better His daughter probably wont.....
Whoops, his cousin caroline
you know: the one walking alongside her murdered father's casket:
Calls him a fucking predator....on her family

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It's a democratic hoax

Edited: 01/30/2025 at 05:30 PM by nukeh2o

He's like most Trumpers: an opportunist.

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"One of the reasons why propaganda tries to get you to hate government is because it's the one existing institution in which people can participate to some extent and constrain tyrannical unaccountable power." Noam Chomsky.

He will get this position. They will all get the positions. We are so fucked.

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It was fun while it lasted.

"Now...sir: about all them gay frogs..... no less an authority than fat alex jonestown says they exist."
Of course: that's what finally what drove fat queer samba queen gary lombard over the edge folks.
24/7 toadstool mushroom progs...err "froggs".
Singing "I will survive".... and bette milder showtunes
from his backyard trailer swamp

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It's a democratic hoax

Nahhh ....just give these magat vermin dopes enough rope......one has to work hard to earn 6 bankruptcies.
And two impeachments
To quote a local incel inbred qretin:
Tik tok.....you won't like it
duuhhhhhhhhhh


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It's a democratic hoax

RFK is an opportunist nut.
Gabbard is an enemy sympathizer that Republicans used to hate.
Patel is a crackpot.
Hagseth is unfit to run a coin laundry.
Musk thinks it's fine to Sieg Heil on the presidential stage.
Trump blames Black people for the air tragedy.

Why did you people put this idiot in office again?



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I was right.

So he can play the lyre while Rome burns.

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"One of the reasons why propaganda tries to get you to hate government is because it's the one existing institution in which people can participate to some extent and constrain tyrannical unaccountable power." Noam Chomsky.

How did he get off heroine?
Did he go to a reprogramming camp?
NA?
or ??

For a recovering addict his views on addiction are pretty messed up.

Maybe it is the worm in his head doing the talking?




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If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph: THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD WAS MUSIC - KV

Because the people demand to be ENTERTAINED!

And trump is nothing if not an entertainer.


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Man will never be free until the last king is strangled with the entrails of the last priest.

Denis Diderot

Edited: 01/31/2025 at 06:55 AM by RustyTruck

I have picked a lot of juries on drug cases and one thing is absolutely certain when it comes to addicts in recovery, they are all over the place and no two are the same.

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"One of the reasons why propaganda tries to get you to hate government is because it's the one existing institution in which people can participate to some extent and constrain tyrannical unaccountable power." Noam Chomsky.

Yep, the fact that it worked for him doesn't matter in the least when it comes to the rest of the population. I'm guessing he had a bit of money to help out, too.



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I was right.

Edited: 01/31/2025 at 12:21 PM by Cole

Cassidy, a practicing gastroenterologist for 3 decades, looked like he might have have prevented RFK from getting in. Instead, Cassidy settled on a series of bargains that he naively believed would keep vaccination science as the basis for decisions relating to vaccines. This little honeymoon didn't last long at all.

>>Cassidy said Kennedy also pledged to keep in place a pivotal independent advisory panel on vaccine policy.

"If confirmed, [Kennedy] will maintain the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention's Advisory Committee on Immunization Practices (ACIP) without changes," Cassidy said.

Kennedy fired the entire 17-member panel Monday, arguing a "clean sweep" was needed to purge conflicts of interest and help restore trust in vaccinations and public health....

...Robert Hogan, department chair and political science professor at Louisiana State University, said it seems clear Kennedy is playing Cassidy for a fool - but that won't matter to GOP primary voters.
"You would think that that would hurt him electorally, but ... I think ultimately, what could have hurt him is if he had stuck with his professional standards and the standards of the medical community" and spoken out against Kennedy, Hogan said.

"Keep in mind that in Louisiana, just a few days ago, voted to make ivermectin available without a prescription. ... Republicans are all in on this kind of thing and in that kind of environment, especially in a nomination battle where they are going to be the vast majority of people voting ... it doesn't pay at all to push Kennedy on these matters," Hogan said...<<



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"One of the reasons why propaganda tries to get you to hate government is because it's the one existing institution in which people can participate to some extent and constrain tyrannical unaccountable power." Noam Chomsky.